Heart of a Champion, Brain of a Rock

God doesn't call the qualified to do His best work. He qualifies the called. 

(a saying at my church)

***

(picture borrowed from artistic.anomaly.wordpress.com)

When it comes to some ideas, I am not the brightest crayon in the box. I'll have an idea or a "fact" so deeply ingrained in me, it will take me FOREVER to see it any other way. For example, when I was a kid, I read the color magenta on the crayon label as "magneta" and for most of my childhood--far longer than I care to admit--in my mind, the color was called magneta. It wasn't until I started to correct someone on the proper pronunciation that I had a shocking revelation--I had been saying it wrong for years!

Another (more recent) example occurred a few weeks ago before my younger sister's birthday.When I asked how old she was going to be this year, she told me she would be 27. I argued with her that that wasn't right--we are two and a half years apart, and I am 28, so that means that she would be turning 26. I have logic on my side!

This debate went on for an unreasonable amount of time until, in a baffling turn of events, my sister used the power of math to show me that not only was she turning 27, I would be hitting my 30th birthday this year. WHAT?!?! Where did that year go?!?!?

The point is, sometimes it takes more than a gentle nudging to change an idea I have in my mind. Sometimes it takes a baseball bat. Or a steamroller. Or a freight train. And then finally:

Fortunately, God knows this, and is happy to accommodate. When there is something that He would like me to learn, it shows up anywhere and everywhere until the lightbulb flicks on.

One of my favorite things about the Bible is the dynamic between Jesus and the apostles. Jesus is just hanging out, trying to get his point across to the apostles so they can carry on his work, and they pretty much always miss the point completely the first (and sometimes second) time around.

The best example of this is in Matthew 16. Jesus had just finished telling off some Pharisees and Sadducees--they wanted him to perform a couple of miracles to prove his authority, but he's the Son of God, for crying out loud, not a magician--and now he and the twelve are in a boat heading to their next destination. 

"On their way to the other side of the lake, the disciples discovered they had forgotten to bring along bread. In the meantime, Jesus said to them, 'Keep a sharp eye out for Pharisee-Saducee yeast.'
Thinking he was scolding them for forgetting bread, they discussed in whispers what to do. Jesus knew what they were doing and said, 'Why all these worried whispers about forgetting the bread? Runt believers! Haven't you caught on yet? Don't you remember the five loaves of bread and the five thousand people, and how many baskets of fragments you picked up? Or the seven loaves that fed four thousand, and how many baskets of leftovers you collected? Haven't you realized yet that bread isn't the problem? The problem is yeast, Pharisee-Saducee yeast.' 
Then they got it: that he wasn't concerned about eating, but teaching--the Pharisee-Sadducee kind of teaching." --Matthew 16:5-12 (msg)

I love this story. It gives me hope to know that even the apostles--the ones that Jesus chose--aren't always so quick on the uptake. If they can be great through God, then so can I!

NO!!! I WILL DO IT!!

For those of you who don't know me (Hi, whoever you are!) I am a proud mama of two of the most awesome kids ever: an insanely smart almost-four-year-old boy and a vibrant, charismatic almost-three-year-old girl. They are the best (and worst) part of my day every single day.

Easter egg hunting!

But as anyone who has ever raised a toddler knows, it can often be a little bit frustrating. Though both of my kids have always been fairly independent, my daughter has recently taken this to a whole new level. The phrase I hear more often than any other is "I WILL DO IT! I WILL DO IT BY MYSELF!!"

Nothing is simple anymore. For example, instead of taking 2 minutes to get her changed and dressed in the mornings, I now have to gather all my patience and watch her do every single bit of it by herself very, very slowly. It's so hard to watch her struggle for two or three minutes for something I could have done in 30 seconds. (And yes, I have to watch her. That's one of her requirements.) Any time I try to offer help, it's met with another yell: "NO! I WILL DO IT! I WILL DO IT BY MYSELF!"

Don't get me wrong--I admire her persistence. She's determined to do every single thing on her own, no matter how much she struggles and no matter how long it takes. SHE WILL DO IT BY HERSELF.

While watching this struggle the other day, a thought popped into my head: this must be how God feels on a daily basis with me. He knows the solutions to all my problems. He can help with everything I'm struggling with. Everything could be so much better, so much faster, but instead, I'm down here making everything so much more complicated than it has to be, yelling, "I WILL DO IT BY MYSELF!"

We've Got the Funk!

Except I'm pretty sure this is not the kind of funk that Parliament was talking about. My funk was more like this one.

It's hard to describe my mood over the past couple of weeks. Nothing was going my way. Everything I tried to do turned out wrong. I spent most of my time being angry about something, or crying about something, or both. I felt like that passage in Psalm:

I'm a bucket kicked over and spilled, every joint in my body has been pulled apart. My heart is a blob of melted wax in my stomach. I'm dry as a bone, my tongue black and swollen. They have laid me out for burial in the dirt. --Psalm 22:14-15 (msg)

What was going on?? Why wasn't anything helping?? I was doing so well--getting closer to God, getting along with my husband, kicking ass at work--and now this? What gives? I was just a couple of steps away from giving myself an emo haircut so that the world could see all my feelings.

Look at all the feelings!

I was doing my bible reading when a phrase I've heard started echoing around in my head: 

Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name. --Hebrews 13:15 (nlt)

When things are going my way, praise isn't a sacrifice--it's second nature. It's easy to praise God when everything is awesome! But when I'm "a bucket kicked over and spilled" I tend to have more of a "woe is me" attitude. Nothing is good now, and nothing will ever be good again.

In Ephesians, Paul tells us to "let the Spirit renew [our] thoughts and attitudes." (Eph. 4:23 [nlt]) 

God doesn't want us to get stuck in the funk, and He gives us the key to getting out of it: the sacrifice of praise! You can't praise God and wallow in misery at the same time. If you sacrifice your whining and moaning for praise, you actually start to feel better.

In other words, if you stop trying to figure things out yourself and do what God tells you to do, things get better.

Shocking, I know.

It doesn't have to be this big, elaborate, complex thing. One of the most effective things for me has been singing a hymn I remember from the churches I grew up in.

This is the day

(This is the day)

That the Lord has made!

(That the Lord has made!)

I will rejoice

(I will rejoice)

And be glad in it!

(And be glad in it!)

This is the day that the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it!

This is the day

(This is the day)

That the Lord has made.

 Another thing I've started to do when I feel the funk coming on is to stop whatever I'm doing and think of five things I'm thankful for. Again, it doesn't have to be elaborate. Having Flaming Amy's chips and pineapple jalapeno salsa has made my list--I'm not here to judge what's on yours.

God meets you at your level of expectation. If you expect this day to be just like yesterday and the day before and the day before, it will be. If you think your situation is never going to change, it won't. The only think stopping God from doing awesome, amazing, incredible things in your life is YOU.

The point is if you fill your head with praise and thanks, you don't have room for whining and self pity and negativity. And that frees you up to "Tear the roof off this mutha," as Parliament so eloquently puts it.

It Doesn't Matter: A Mantra

The Bible is full of advice about your interactions with other people. Take this verse, for example:

"When you are angry, don't let that anger make you sin and don't stay angry all day except when your husband's acting like a jerk or your dogs have pooped all over the house or you're having a bad day at work. Then stay angry as long as you want. It's all good." --Ephesians 4:26

Or this one:

"When you talk, don't say anything bad. Unless the person you're talking to is being completely unreasonable. If they are, then let them have it, because they're acting like an idiot." --Ephesians 4:29

Okay, so the parts in bold aren't actually there. But sometimes I wish they were, because it's SO FREAKING DIFFICULT to control what I say when I'm arguing with someone or things aren't going my way.

After a recent fight with my husband, I decided to bring my issue to The Man himself.

Since God is omnipresent, I'm sure he saw the egregiousness of my husband's actions. And since I conducted myself with such grace and respect*, obviously he would be on board with me bringing a righteous verbal smackdown to my husband. 

Except that's not what he did. Instead, he told me that it doesn't matter what people do or say to you, the command to love is still the same.

"Here's another old saying that deserves a second look: 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' Is that going to get us anywhere? Here's what I propose: 'Don't hit back at all.' If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously." --Matthew 5:38-42 (msg)

Sometimes I feel like this is nearly impossible. When I'm fighting with someone, or when someone makes me angry, I try to stop and remember that it doesn't matter. 

One of my favorite blogs to read, Stepcase Lifehack, had a post this week called How to Love the Unlovable. I love the tips they gave:

• Humanize.
 Remember that everyone has similar struggles. Your unloveable probably has a family, a job, self-esteem issues, an illness or something else that makes them who they are. They are dealing with all that life has to offer just like you. Ask them about their life instead of focusing on their bad habit.

• Pity Story.
 Make up a sad story to make the situation less stressful. For instance, if you feel road rage building up when the person in front of you forgets to use their signal, make up a story about how he just lost his job and can’t afford to replace his tail light. Slow down and let empathy replace anger.

• Stop trying to fix everything.
 We are all different and while it would be great if everyone were as wonderful as you, that’s not going to happen. Lighten up and let it be.

• Celebrate imperfection.
 We aren’t perfect. None of us. Not even you. It is your imperfections that make you unique. Your flaws are a part of who you are. Celebrate that in yourself and others.

• Laugh.
 Sometimes all you can do is smile, nod and laugh inside.

• Be Kind.
 You don’t have to agree to be kind.

Trying to act in kindness and love regardless of the actions of others is one of my biggest challenges, but it's also at the very core of my beliefs. Love God, Love Others, Serve the World. I can't do that if I'm busy being mad and yelling at everyone, now can I?

* That's a lie.

When in Doubt, Turn Around; Don't Drown.

When left to my own devices, I overthink everything. If you could see the inside of my head, it would look like a washing machine on super spin cycle. Did I do the right things? Did I say the right things? What if I had moved left instead of moving right? What if I had said something else? Was that the right time to laugh? Was that even a joke?

This is the inside of my brain.

I start to think that everything in the world is a result of my actions. If something happens that isn't positive, it's because of something I did do, didn't do, or didn't do enough. 

Being responsible for the entire world is incredibly overwhelming. It's also very lonely. I start to feel like people only like me if I do and say everything exactly right. I feel like I have to trick people into liking me by being perfect, like they are.

And when I spend all of my time, effort, and brain power on making sure I do every single thing exactly right, because if I don't, I will have no friends and the world will go to hell in a handbasket, this is what happens:

But there's another way. Another choice.

I was listening to the radio yesterday when a flood warning from the National Weather Service came on. I wasn't listening to the warning--I was just wondering when it would be over when I heard that slightly off text-to-speech voice say, "When in doubt, don't drown; turn around."

What??

Don't drown; turn around. 

Romans 12:3 says this: Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him. (msg)


This is said in the Bible over and over. We don't have to be afraid of people finding out that we aren't perfect. We don't have to be afraid of not measuring up--not for God, and not for anyone else. We are loved just because we are, not because we're so awesome and we do everything right.


Then in verse 6-ish, it gets EVEN BETTER: "let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't." (msg)

Let's just all let out a collective breath--Phew! It's okay that I'm not perfect. It's okay that you're not perfect. It's not a mistake that we're flawed-- the flaws are there on purpose. If God isn't comparing you to someone else, why are you doing it? 

And guess what-- that person you're comparing yourself to? They have flaws too. Big ones. On purpose.


And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. --1 Corinthians 7:17 (msg)

Who In The World Are You?

"But when you proclaim his truth in everyday speech, you're letting others in on the truth so that they can grow and be strong and experience his presence with you." 
1 Corinthians 14:3 (msg)


A recent election in North Carolina has brought a lot of anti-Christian sentiment to my Facebook wall. What bothered me wasn't the fact that it was there; I always have and always will respect a person's right to his or her own opinion. The thing that bothered me the most was the fact that this terrible piece of bigotry is what people see of Christians.


I remember thinking, "I wish people could just see God the way I see him." None of this is from the Jesus I believe in. If I could just explain what I've been reading in the Bible, what it was really all about, there would probably be a lot less close-mindedness and anger.


And then God said, "Well, why don't you explain it to them?"


I argued with God for a while on that. (Yes, I argue with God. He made me. He knows I'm stubborn.) 

"But God, I don't talk to people... I get too nervous."

"That's not important. Do it."

"But God, I don't know enough about anything. What am I even supposed to say?"

"You'll figure it out. Do it."

"But God, what if I am completely and totally wrong about all of this? 

"Trust me. Do it."

"But God, no one is even going to look at this."

"Well good! You don't have anything to worry about then, do you? Do it."

"Fine."

So that's why I'm here: to explain things the way I see them. I might be wrong, I might be right--who knows? I'm just trying to stop being so stubborn and do what God tells me, for once.